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“You’re a pretty girl,” she told me, “and that may mean you have a different experience.” This fits in with the difficulty girls face in being diagnosed with autism initially, and is perhaps a continuation of this denial — of the view of autism as something somehow male.Young men are believed when they say they are autistic; young women are not, and are instead encouraged to embrace the role of a lovely eccentric, decorative and quirky rather than “disordered.” Francesca then told me something else: “When you were a child and first came to me, you could pick up some social signals, but the one you didn’t understand — couldn’t begin to understand — was anger.” Even then, the series of faces and postures I struggled with was someone getting angry — I just didn’t get it.I am not proud of this, but I tell you because as an autistic thirteen-year-old it seemed an appropriate way of dealing with people being mean and calling me weird.
Well, on the autistic spectrum, and it sometimes makes me seem weird, or socially awkward, and it’s difficult for me to get things — you know, body language things.” He paused, then broke into a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with you that most people don’t have.Here he held out a chance to rewrite my past, to eradicate all the fucking awful weird things I had done, and to become something else — a quirky awkward girl who was adorable. The relationship was to disintegrate months later, with him shouting: “Why do you not get it, why can you not see when I am getting angry and need to be alone?