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16-Jun-2016 06:15

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“You’re a pretty girl,” she told me, “and that may mean you have a different experience.” This fits in with the difficulty girls face in being diagnosed with autism initially, and is perhaps a continuation of this denial — of the view of autism as something somehow male.Young men are believed when they say they are autistic; young women are not, and are instead encouraged to embrace the role of a lovely eccentric, decorative and quirky rather than “disordered.” Francesca then told me something else: “When you were a child and first came to me, you could pick up some social signals, but the one you didn’t understand — couldn’t begin to understand — was anger.” Even then, the series of faces and postures I struggled with was someone getting angry — I just didn’t get it.I am not proud of this, but I tell you because as an autistic thirteen-year-old it seemed an appropriate way of dealing with people being mean and calling me weird.

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Well, on the autistic spectrum, and it sometimes makes me seem weird, or socially awkward, and it’s difficult for me to get things — you know, body language things.” He paused, then broke into a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with you that most people don’t have.Here he held out a chance to rewrite my past, to eradicate all the fucking awful weird things I had done, and to become something else — a quirky awkward girl who was adorable. The relationship was to disintegrate months later, with him shouting: “Why do you not get it, why can you not see when I am getting angry and need to be alone?

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